Archive for Crap.

Can I blame it on the Lupron?

I am writing as I sit on the couch watching the food network (which has been on for almost 2 hours) and trying to work up the motivation to go into the kitchen to refill my water. I have no desire to leave this couch let alone this room to walk 20 feet into the kitchen. I know when I get in there the pizza that I made will have to be put in the fridge and I will practically be tripping over a basket of dirty clothes that will have to be brought down to the laundry room. Basically I’m just plain, unapologetically, unforgivably, lazy. OK, I made the pizza from scratch (yay William Sonoma pizza stone!) and the house is straightened up and looks nice and clean (aside from the bedroom furniture that is still scattered around the house and the fridge still sitting in the middle of the kitchen) but I can’t believe that all I want to do is sit on the couch, Google anything that has the letters IVF in it and watch tv shows about making food or fixing up your house (hello, HGTV). Wow. Can I blame it on the drugs? Is this believable as a side effect? I’m thinking not. I haven’t even taken my prenatal or my B-12 vit yet. Hey, maybe that’s it. I need my B vit!

On the IVF front, besides Lupron making me lazy, it’s actually behaving itself every other way. I have a dull headache today but I think that’s from not having enough water and not sleeping enough. My belly is a tiny bit bloated but that could be from the enormous cookies I baked yesterday (and have been eating since). I’m hoping to have us moved back into our bedroom this weekend since the smell of the finish is not really bad anymore. As for the shots, I can’t seem to get used to them. When I poke the left side of my belly, it’s not too bad, but the right side is a different story. Last night I have to do the double poke again and it hurt even with the EMLA. I have little red dots from the needle but I’m not bruising. Probably because I use Arnica gel afterwards and that’s supposed to help with bruising. Not looking forward to 8:00 tonight. But it’s the left side so I shouldn’t have trouble. I’m thinking of just staying with the left until it’s too uncomfortable and then I’ll switch. I don’t know. I don’t really feel like thinking about it. I think I’ll just adjust my body and watch how to make a warm duck salad with saffron butternut squash. I’d never eat it, but at least I can say I know how to made it. Of course, I’d never make it, either, because I’m too freakin’ lazy.

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You’re so vein, I bet you think this blog is about you…

Blood test number 3.  This time I have to go to my clinic which is over an hour away instead of the lab which is only 40 minutes away.  I got Hubby to come with me by promising him a side trip to Chic-Fil-A (we don’t have one near us) and he was all for it!  I was feeling pretty relaxed the drive down, in fact I was optimistic that I would be in and out of the clinic in no time.  Tech Pick Pick can get my blood in one poke, right?  These people should be just as good.  Right?  Anyone?  I signed in and we sat in the waiting area where there was one other couple.  I never know what to do when I see someone else in the waiting room.  Do I put on my somber face and dab my eyes with a tissue to show that I am sufficiently sad to be in this place?  Or do I put on a stupid grin and wave, hoping the other person will not look at me in contempt like I just mooned a funeral procession.  I usually find the middle ground of making eye contact, smiling a little, softly saying hi and quickly averting my eyes.  This usually gets a good response.  Of course, everytime I have to fight the urge to plop down next to the other couple and say “so what are you in for?”  I think that would be totally funny if someone did that to me.  Hey, I’ve been trying to have a baby for 5 years, I think I have earned the right to laugh at my situation if I want to.  But no.  I’m civilized.  The boldest I ever got was telling a girl I liked her socks.  That’s right, her socks. 

Anyway, I’m waiting to get called in and hubby started reading this magazine article about some of the stupid things criminals have done that have gotten them caught and after about 5 minutes we are both laughing out loud.  Gasp!  Highly inappropriate. Come one, a guy robs a convenient store and gets caught because he left the clerk with his name and number so she could call him for a date? Funny! I think the other couples waiting were happy to see us get called. First thing, I’m pointed the way to my favorite chair (college lecture hall desk) and I quickly start telling them I have to lay down (how soon before this gets old). Oh right, says the nurse, I remember you. Great. I think I had a blood test there twice 4 months ago and she remembers me. Never a good sign. She was smiling but her teeth were clentched. Oh my God, please don’t let her be of the same species as the ultrasound tech from Thursday! So I lay down on an exam table (no recliners for this place, they can’t have us getting too comfortable, we might never leave) put my feet in the stirrups (not only did “wand” mar my fairy godmother image but now I don’t want to go horseback riding anymore) and waited for the tech to come in. I’m calm. I’m sure this will only take a few minutes. I show the tech where the other tech was able to get my blood. Poke. Hmmm, sorry, no blood’s coming out. Let’s try another vein. Oh oh. Never a good thing when they want to find another vein on me. I have about 2 veins that might work and one of them need a treasure map to be found. This first one is the easy one. I tried to keep the panic out of my face when I look at hubby. All I could say was “Crap.” Fast forward 4 nurses, 7 pokes (more like digs) and 1 1/2 hours later and we finally got a vial. At one point I saw a couple of drops come out and asked why they couldn’t get my levels from that. I mean, House probably could. CSI would have gotten a whole DNA profile on me with that drop. The nurse was not amused, maybe even a little insulted. Finally it was the nurse from the surgery dept that places the IVs that did the trick. I left the clinic with tons of gauze taped to me and the realization that the next time I go in there for a blood test, I shouldn’t be surprised if everyone is at lunch.

Hubby was great. He kept telling me how impressed he was that I didn’t freak out and I had to agree with him. Before, I would have run out of there crying after the 3rd poke. I seriously think accupuncture is helping with that. Yay!

After stopping at Chic-Fil-A and doing some shopping, I got a message from my IVF nurse. My levels still aren’t high enough. Go in for another blood test on Monday. She did specify that I go to the other lab. Hmmm, I wonder why? So it’s another early morning tomorrow but hopefully I’ll have a better experience. My veins are looking very smug right now. I’m hoping they aren’t planning another revolt…

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Ovulate, schmovulate.

It’s the 26th.  Hurrah!  The day I see if I can start Lupron.  I set my alarm for 6:30am, and after sleeping for probably 4 hours I woke up at 6:19.  Seriously?  I couldn’t have slept the extra 11 minutes?  There was no point in trying to squeeze in a teeny bit more sleep so I just lay there waiting for the clock to buzz.  Then it was get dressed fast, grab some water and a banana and run out to the car before I get frostbite.  The thermostat in the car read 0.  Zero. Ziltch.  Meaning there is not one hint of heat anywhere outside.  My freezer is set to zero, what does that tell you.  Basically I was feeling like a frozen waffle.  Great way to start the day.  The blood test was pretty much as expected.  I sit in the waiting room wondering which one of the lab techs I’m getting stuck with (ha! no pun intended!).  I always get the guy (we’ll call him lab tech Crackasmile because, well, he doesn’t…and I’ve tried!) Poor Crackasmile, he ushers me into the blood letting room and tells me to sit in the chair.  You know the one, it looks like the chairs from college that have a tiny little desk, just enough room for your arm and a notebook and me being a lefty always getting stuck with the righty desk and having to do a half turn to take notes.  I always hated those chairs.  Maybe that’s why I hate the ones in the lab.  So I stop Crackasmile in his tracks and tell him that I need to recline in the comfy chair or he will be picking me up off the floor.  I also told him if he didn’t think he could get my blood with one stick, then he should find someone who could.  This is my usual speech to the lab techs and it’s usually the guys who look at me like deer in headlights.  I could tell Crackasmile wanted to run for the hills because he started sweating and averting his gaze, all while mumbling that he’ll get the other tech because she is better with the comfy chair.  Sure, Crackasmile, whatever makes you sleep at night.  So I got lab tech Pick pick.  I’ve had her before and I really like her except for the fact that she likes to pick at everything and basically act like she’s my grandmother or something.  “You really need to drink more water”, or “you’re too skinny, that’s why it’s hard to find a vein”, or my favorite one “It’s good you don’t like needles, that way you won’t hurt yourself”.  What?  Anyway, I’ll take the pickiness since she is pretty good at getting my blood.  Not great, but one poke and we are done.  Nevermind its usually on the side of my wrist a couple of inches below my thumb and it hurts like nobody’s business, but she get’s the job done. 

Then it was off to Home Depot to rent a sander and the rest of my day was spent in a cloud of dust.  My kitchen floor at looking awesome and I have half the bedroom sanded and I’ll do the other half tomorrow before accupuncture.  Then it’s on to finishing the floors and then I’m DONE! 

Hubby and I were in the car together when I got the call from Nurse Newbie (very sweet, but just started at the RE’s office and doesn’t know crap) and she cheerfully told me that I hadn’t ovulated yet so I couldn’t start Lupron and I had to go back for another blood test and ultrasound on Thurs. to see if things changed.  I didn’t what?  It’s CD26 and my ovaries chose this month to go on vacation?  I ALWAYS ovulate between CD12 and 14 but I don’ t know what is up with my cycle because after I stopped the pill I got another period.  So is that my new cycle?  If so, I am on CD14 and should be ovulating as I’m writing this.  So I had hubby call back so I could get some insight.  I got the call (they really are good at calling back) and it went like this:

ME:  Do you have any idea what is up with my body?

Nurse Newbie: Not really, but don’t worry about it.

ME: I’m concerned that the BCP messed me up and now I won’t ovulate this month and my cycle will get cancelled.

Nurse Newbie: Nah, that won’t happen.  You’ll ovulate eventually. 

ME: So I will ovulate?

Nurse Newbie:  Sure, but you might not.  But we really aren’t worried.

ME:  Oh that’s nice that you’re not worried.  When I ovulate, will I start Lupron?

Nurse Newbie: Probably not yet.

There was more to the conversation but as you can see it really lacked substance.  Needless to say, I’m in a holding pattern.  I’m going to finish my floors, and then I guess I’ll have to find a new project to keep me occupied until the stars align and I can get started with this freakin’ IVF cycle.  Maybe I can start tearing off the siding on the house.  There’s nothing wrong with it but it will certainly be a distraction.  And who knows, I might be ready to start this IVF cycle when I’m done.  Where’s my crowbar?  If I haven’t ovulated by Thurs, I’m starting the demo.

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