Archive for YIKES!!

You’re so vein, I bet you think this blog is about you…

Blood test number 3.  This time I have to go to my clinic which is over an hour away instead of the lab which is only 40 minutes away.  I got Hubby to come with me by promising him a side trip to Chic-Fil-A (we don’t have one near us) and he was all for it!  I was feeling pretty relaxed the drive down, in fact I was optimistic that I would be in and out of the clinic in no time.  Tech Pick Pick can get my blood in one poke, right?  These people should be just as good.  Right?  Anyone?  I signed in and we sat in the waiting area where there was one other couple.  I never know what to do when I see someone else in the waiting room.  Do I put on my somber face and dab my eyes with a tissue to show that I am sufficiently sad to be in this place?  Or do I put on a stupid grin and wave, hoping the other person will not look at me in contempt like I just mooned a funeral procession.  I usually find the middle ground of making eye contact, smiling a little, softly saying hi and quickly averting my eyes.  This usually gets a good response.  Of course, everytime I have to fight the urge to plop down next to the other couple and say “so what are you in for?”  I think that would be totally funny if someone did that to me.  Hey, I’ve been trying to have a baby for 5 years, I think I have earned the right to laugh at my situation if I want to.  But no.  I’m civilized.  The boldest I ever got was telling a girl I liked her socks.  That’s right, her socks. 

Anyway, I’m waiting to get called in and hubby started reading this magazine article about some of the stupid things criminals have done that have gotten them caught and after about 5 minutes we are both laughing out loud.  Gasp!  Highly inappropriate. Come one, a guy robs a convenient store and gets caught because he left the clerk with his name and number so she could call him for a date? Funny! I think the other couples waiting were happy to see us get called. First thing, I’m pointed the way to my favorite chair (college lecture hall desk) and I quickly start telling them I have to lay down (how soon before this gets old). Oh right, says the nurse, I remember you. Great. I think I had a blood test there twice 4 months ago and she remembers me. Never a good sign. She was smiling but her teeth were clentched. Oh my God, please don’t let her be of the same species as the ultrasound tech from Thursday! So I lay down on an exam table (no recliners for this place, they can’t have us getting too comfortable, we might never leave) put my feet in the stirrups (not only did “wand” mar my fairy godmother image but now I don’t want to go horseback riding anymore) and waited for the tech to come in. I’m calm. I’m sure this will only take a few minutes. I show the tech where the other tech was able to get my blood. Poke. Hmmm, sorry, no blood’s coming out. Let’s try another vein. Oh oh. Never a good thing when they want to find another vein on me. I have about 2 veins that might work and one of them need a treasure map to be found. This first one is the easy one. I tried to keep the panic out of my face when I look at hubby. All I could say was “Crap.” Fast forward 4 nurses, 7 pokes (more like digs) and 1 1/2 hours later and we finally got a vial. At one point I saw a couple of drops come out and asked why they couldn’t get my levels from that. I mean, House probably could. CSI would have gotten a whole DNA profile on me with that drop. The nurse was not amused, maybe even a little insulted. Finally it was the nurse from the surgery dept that places the IVs that did the trick. I left the clinic with tons of gauze taped to me and the realization that the next time I go in there for a blood test, I shouldn’t be surprised if everyone is at lunch.

Hubby was great. He kept telling me how impressed he was that I didn’t freak out and I had to agree with him. Before, I would have run out of there crying after the 3rd poke. I seriously think accupuncture is helping with that. Yay!

After stopping at Chic-Fil-A and doing some shopping, I got a message from my IVF nurse. My levels still aren’t high enough. Go in for another blood test on Monday. She did specify that I go to the other lab. Hmmm, I wonder why? So it’s another early morning tomorrow but hopefully I’ll have a better experience. My veins are looking very smug right now. I’m hoping they aren’t planning another revolt…

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I think she needs a permit for that stick shift.

Things are moving S-L-O-W-L-Y in the IVF world.  After having a long talk with my ovaries on Monday I felt we were on the same page ovulation wise.  Basically I told them to shape up because we had a lot of work to do in the next month.  They responded with a “screw you, do you really think we are looking forward to getting a needle stuck in us and all our eggs to get sucked out?  We are going to take our sweet time.”  Touche’.

My Tuesday acupuncture appointment went great.  I told my acu I needed to ovulate and 30 needles and 20 minutes later, I felt some real action going on.  Ha, take that, you stubborn ovaries!  I noticed some pain around my left ovary and it just had to be getting ready to ovulate!  After about an hour the pain went away so I hoped that was it.

Over the next 2 days I focused on my floors.  My sanding is done and I was finally able to put down two coats of polyurethane in the kitchen and half the bedroom.  That means no matter where I go in the house, I’m overwhelmed by the smell of polyurethane and I think hubby and I are starting to hallucinate.  In fact, I’m probably going to put on Zepplin, sit on the couch and let my brain turn to mush.  Oh, wait, was that just a stork outside?  Should I check my doorstep for a basket?  No. It was just the headlights of hubby’s jeep pulling in the driveway.  Oh well, no baskets on the door step but he comes bearing food.  Always a good thing.  Food.  Or baskets.  What was I talking about?  I’d better open a window.

Anyway, I had replaced about 10 old maple planks with new ones and even though they are the same wood, 130 years puts a lot of character into wood that the new stuff couldn’t even dream of.  I needed to try to age to new wood so at least it wouldn’t stick out like a nun at a nude beach.  Suddenly I digressed back to chemistry class in high school (where, by the way, I learned about everything BUT chemistry, yay public school budget cuts!)  I started by boiling about 10 teabags in a pot of water and wiping the tea on the boards.  Pretty good, but not enough.  I decided to give coffee a try.  A little darker but still not aged enough.  Then I put aside the non-toxic crap and brought out the smelly, sticky, you-have-to-wear-a-mask-to-use-it stain.  After mixing 3 stains together and practicing on some extra maple boards I finally got my new floor boards to at least look like they belong.  I have to say, they don’t match exactly but they look pretty darn good!  Seriously, I need my own HGTV show.  The kitchen and half the bedroom are now done and they just need a few days for the finish to harden so I can move the furniture back.  I’ll do the other half of the bedroom this weekend and I should have the house back in order by the middle of next week.  Since we couldn’t sleep in the bedroom last night, hubby and I stayed in the living room.  He was on the floor and I took the couch.  The blanket I wanted to use was in the dryer and for some reason was still wet when I took it out.  So I’m laying on the couch (comfy to sit on, not so much to lay on) with the windows opened about 4 inches and I’m covered in a blanket that is still damp.  Oh, and everytime I started falling asleep, I couldn’t help but think it was actually me being suffocated by the smell of the poly.  I slept all of 3 hours with the cat staring at me the whole time.  Creepy.  Then I had to get up super early for another blood test complete with ultrasound. 

That’s when the fun began.  I like to sleep until the very last second which means I’m usually rushing around like a crazy fool trying to get out the door.  Of course it snowed yesterday and the nice fluffy snow that covered my car yesterday turned into crusty, icy snow today.  Great.  Let me get my chistle.  Now I’m tired, grumpy and cold and I found out the hard way that I ran out of washer fluid.  It was fun driving down the highway looking through the one clear strip on the windshield that was only made possible because I was behind a truck that hit a puddle.  I get to the lab and of course my info is wrong when I check in.  It always is.  I don’t know what they do when I give them my information.  I think they just start typing anything and hit save so the next time I go in my chart reads:kdoie fwierl, ksieiron kgiriidiwnt, sldfijeog.  Seriously.  They have to correct it every time.  And then they wind up re-entering me into the system all while telling me that I’ll have to have a new number.  Oh gee.  Since I have no idea what you are talking about and have never seen any of these “numbers” I’ll take your word for it and stand here for 20 minutes while you do exactly what the lady did the last time I was here.

First came the ultrasound.  The tech was looking a bit pissy and told me I was supposed to be there by 7:30.  Sorry, Nurse Newbie told me 8:30.  I’ll make sure I’m on time next time.  I guess that apology wasn’t enough because I could swear I saw her snarl and her eyes flash red when she turned away.  Hmm.  That can’t be good.  In the u/s room I did the whole undress from the waist down and wrap up in the sheet thing and lay down on the table.  It was the first time I was comfy in 24 hours and I joked to the tech that I would probably fall asleep.  She had other plans for me.  First, she asked if I wanted to put the wand in myself.  (Off topic: a wand is something fairy’s have to grant wishes, I think we need to find a new term for this thing.)  I thanked her for giving me the option and that this is the only bit of control in this whole process I have.  She responded with “Oh, you’re one of those.”  Yeah, lady.  I’m one of “those”.  I’m one of those people who believes that when someone else sticks that damn “wand” in my nether regions they probably don’t realize it actually hurts.  When I do it, I go a little slower so that it is more comfortable.  So, yeah lady, I’m one of “those” people who would like to find a little comfort in what is a mostly uncomfortable process.  Jerk.  It took all my restraint not to knock her over the head with the “wand”.  So I get it in ok and she grabs it and starts shoving it around like she was conducting Wagner’s Ride of the Valkyries in Symphony Hall.  She obviously drives an automatic because she can’t handle a stick for crap.  Between my winces of pain I asked her if my ovaries were hard to find.  No.  They weren’t.  Then I was beginning to think she was trying to look at my throat because she was shoving that thing so far up inside.  Hey, lady, the “wand” doesn’t actually go INSIDE the uterus!  Geez.  I mean, if I look real hard I can practically see my ovaries from the outside, what the heck is she doing in there?  Next thing I know she’s pulling out the “wand” like she is unplugging a hole in a dam.  Youch!  So that was it, thank God.  2 follicles on my left ovary and none on my right.  So if I was sufficiently fertile like everyone else I know, this would have been my month to have twins.  OK, maybe not, but I felt like I was wasting those 2 lovely follicles.  Oh well.  Get ready, ovaries, next month you’ll have more follicles than you bargined for!

The blood test was uneventful.  I got a male tech this time and he was actually not completely terrified of me.  I kind of curled up on the recliner as he was putting in the needle and put my hand over my face (you know, in case I just can’t resist the urge to peek) and tech Pick Pick came by with a glass of cranberry juice.  Did I look that bad?  One vial later and I was off.

Later that night I get a call from someone at the clinic (I say someone because my usual IVF nurse is probably mad at me and Nurse Newbie is probably in a corner crying from our last conversation) saying I have to go back on Saturday by 9:30 for ANOTHER blood test.  OK, are there a bunch of vampires over there?  3 blood tests in 5 days and I haven’t even started stimming yet.  Oh well.  I’m hoping I’ve ovulated so I can get started on Lupron already.  Let’s get this party started!  Good news?  My poor bajingo gets a break since I don’t need an ultrasound.  Yay!

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Holy needles, Batman!

Three guesses what came in the mail today.  Mr. Fed Ex came leaping up the front steps with a big smile on his face and handed me the box (little did he know what was inside!)  My mom came over to have some of the bread I made yesterday  (I LOVE my new oven!) and I wasn’t going to open the box with her there but she seemed curious about the meds so I did.  If the Christmas tree was still up, I would have sat next to it while I opened all the packages inside the big box.  My mom’s eyes got bigger and bigger with each package of needles I pulled out.  I was looking for the letters “subq” and when I found the big pile of needles that said “IM” I almost freaked out.  I practically made my RE promise me in blood that I wouldn’t need to do any IM shots.  I bruise like a peach and my poor behind would be unsittable after 2 days.  It seems, however, that the pharmacy made a boo boo and sent me the needles for the PIO shots that I am NOT taking.  First thing hubby says when he sees them was “did we have to pay for those?”.  Not the reaction I was hoping to get, honey.  I was looking for some eye popping or something.  Anyway, after explaining the whole IVF process to my mom (who had a look of shock and awe the whole time) I realized that I’m feeling much more calm about this than I thought I would.  Of course it’s at least 2 weeks before I start the Lupron but those needles are tiny so I’m not too worried.  I start with the itty bittys then move on to bigger and, well, bigger.  I also had acupuncture today and did’nt get the usual gaggle of needles in my stomach.  Only 3 today.  I told the acu how sick the BCPs made me and how I just started eating again yesterday (and not even real substantial food).  I’m still queasy at times but I’m much better.  Of course yesterday I started to spot and figured it was just a brief symptom of going off the evil pill.  Then today I get this weird period, cramps and all.  Come on, I just had this a week and a half ago.  One period a month is really enough.  So I called the IVF nurse because I’m afraid that my body is reacting pretty dramatically after  just 4 days on the pill.  She said it was pretty normal but her tone was like “Holy crap, this chick can’t get a break!”.  Now I’m waiting for my “period” to stop and for me to ovulate so I can get some progesterone built up so my test on the 26th will show that I’m ready to start the Lupron.  I’m ready to get off this train and it hasn’t even left the station yet.  Is it March yet?  Am I pregnant?  Sigh.  Anyway, I’m hoping to continue to feel better and start eating more.  I really can’t afford to lose any more weight or these needles will poke right through into an internal organ or something.  🙂 

Oh, and did I mention the squirrel infestation we have?  I have been hearing scratching in our media room and bedroom for weeks now.  Of course, whenever I call hubby into the room it stops and I’m left leaning with my ear against the wall saying “did you hear that?” and he is looking at me like he’s trying to decide which mental institution I should be put into.  So yesterday when our new stove was being delivered I noticed a squirrel falling off our roof, catching itself and scurrying into a hole in the trim.  Aha!  So I’m not hearing the scratching of ghosts of owners past.  Out comes animal control to take care of the problem.  This is where don’t ask, don’t tell applies very well.  I don’t ask what they are going to do and they don’t tell me anything but what they are charging me.  I’m hoping this gets resolved quickly, the scratching is creepy.  Well, I have to go upstairs to ask hubby to turn down the tv.  American Idol is having try outs and I don’t think I can stand to listen to another wanna be sing off key for another minute!

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